A Prisoner of Hope
After reading my newsletter about Bobbie and her trucking license, an old friend wrote that he admired my energy for helping people. I smiled widely as I wrote back…it’s been a long time since anyone described me as having a full tank of gas. In fact, the last thing I saw written about me called me a ‘jaded, crusty cynic’…and that was from Sojourners, who like me.
Honestly, I’m not here to help people, but only to make friends, and I’m not trying to fix those friends, but only to love them ways they can feel. I know Bobbie isn’t likely to hold a job, or to stop drinking so much, or even to be especially nice to me more days than not. I’m not loving her because she has potential. I’m loving her because I can.
More and more I realize that I live in the land of bad decisions, where people keep breathing and eating and reproducing even though both they and their culture are broken beyond repair. I’m not optimistic anymore, about this place of about the larger world’s chances for avoiding a serious cataclysm, but apparantly I remain a prisoner of hope. That is, I still believe that what I do matters, even if it doesn’t make a difference.
You got a full throated laugh out of me with this one (not scorn, but joy, seriously). You’re a realist, not a cynic. And you of course understand the difference between hope and optimism. I just laughed because the final clause of your post on Hope was pessimistic, though realistic. I laugh for the truth and irony in that, happy that I’m not alone. Thanks man.
Comment by Ryan — February 20, 2009 @ 6:13 pm
i’m w/Ryan!…thanks [again] Bart!
Comment by ed — February 23, 2009 @ 9:31 am
[…] That’s why I really appreciate the stuff Bart Campolo is writing about his life in Walnut Hills. He’s not about helping anymore. He’s about following love no matter what it means. I like these two posts especially: “A prisoner of hope,” and “Bart’s NOT-A-DOWNER February Letter From Walnut Hills.” And these lines: More and more I realize that I live in the land of bad decisions, where people keep breathing and eating and reproducing even though both they and their culture are broken beyond repair. I’m not optimistic anymore, about this place or about the larger world’s chances for avoiding a serious cataclysm, but apparently I remain a prisoner of hope. That is, I still believe that what I do matters, even if it doesn’t make a difference. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)CheeseAngelina says pregnancy is “great for the sex life†[…]
Pingback by Help « under the overturned lute — February 25, 2009 @ 12:06 pm
Bart,
I have never been one to write on blogs, but I see no other method of contacting you. I was searching for child advocate public speakers and stumbled across your bio on the Children’s Defense Fund website. What I read really inspired me. I very badly want to open a home for kids. A place that feels like home to them. I have had people tell me I would do well to take care of myself and future family, but deep down inside, there is something that compels me to do so. Your bio made it seem possible. You have done so much to at an early age, and I admire that. It makes me more determined that I can as well. So, thank you for being a prisoner of hope. You never know whose life you are touching and why.
Comment by Alicia — September 9, 2009 @ 3:29 am